Week 1 - Travels and Getting Started

Once we decided on a path forward for my healing, we got to work even more diligently to put all the pieces into place.  Our daughter had to finish her semester at school (which happened with one week to spare before we moved), our house had to be set up for care while we were out of state, our pets had to be cared for by friends, and we needed to find a house to stay in during our time in the desert.  I was also struggling with giving up my bookkeeping business, hoping I could manage work and treatment.  I finally sent out messages to my clients, letting them know that I would need to scale way back on the work, and would be bringing on a wonderful assistant to take over for a few months.  The clients were all very understanding and eager to continue working with me rather than ending my contracts.  Our friends and family continued to message and call us with encouragement and support however they could.  We have been so overwhelmed by the love we have been shown by everyone who knows us.  You never truly realize how many people have your back until you're going through a dark time.  Any word, card, gift, or prayer has meant the world to us and truly accomplished the intentions of these wonderful people to encourage us.  

We created long, detailed checklists of things to do, and slowly but surely checked them all off.  We were able to find a great deal on plane tickets, and we left our home late one night to start a new "adventure" of sorts.  Our first place would be a nice guest house we found close to the clinic, that would give us a little time to shop around for a more permanent home.  We were surprised and delighted that winters out here in southern Arizona are pleasant and warm.  We took one quick swim in the guest pool, but that was a little too chilly for a very long swim.  The kids have been great about accepting this big change in their lives, and are keeping great attitudes of support and love for me.  We're trying to be sure they have some fun while we're out here, as well as get their schoolwork done by homeschooling starting again in January.  On our first full day in Arizona we found a nearby state park with beautiful mountains and incredible saguaro cactus plants, some over 10 feet tall!  

The clinic itself was very warm and welcoming, and the staff seems very capable of offering quality care.  My husband and I met with the doctor who will be managing my case, and she went over a large amount of material regarding cancer, it's causes, it's roots, how to fight it, the types of procedures they offer, and what to expect in the coming days.  She was realistic about my outcomes, and my hopes of an "easy" treatment were adjusted as I realized there really is no easy way to rid the body of such an aggressive and smart disease.  I'll have many tough decisions to make in the near future, especially regarding major surgeries, since that may be neccessary in order to stay cancer-free once I reach that point (and they have high hopes for me!).  The meeting was difficult as I learned a better idea of my next few months, and I was very upset and fearful thinking about it all.  The thought came to me that I should just face one moment at a time and not try to take it as a whole.  This is too much for me.  But I keep thinking about how the Lord told the Apostle Paul that "My grace is sufficient for thee.  My strength is made perfect in weakness."

Day 2 at the clinic involved something I absolutely despise and fear - blood work.  They warned me that they would need to take a large amount in order to customize the treatment plans, especially formulating a very targeted chemo-therapy for my specific cancer type and geno-type.  My husband sat beside me and talked me through it with encouragement, while the lab technician drew 30 or so vials of blood.  It was a very scary and stressful experience and I still shudder thinking about it.  I'm embarrassed by how badly I react, almost as though I were being killed, but it really is one of my deepest fears.  I managed to get through it, even though they thought about stopping and having me come back to finish another day.  Afterwards we went and had lunch, then I was able to sit outside our house and soak in the warm sunlight to start to feel stronger.  

All of this is going on with Christmas only a few days away, so we also squeezed in a Christmas shopping trip that evening!  I'm actually thankful for the timing because Christmas is a comforting and cheerful holiday, and I can distract myself with happy songs and the festive decorations.  Jesus came to save and heal the world!

Day 3 was MUCH better, I only had to have an EKG heart test, so they could have a starting point for my heart's health.  I'm assuming that is fine, and hoping it stays that way throughout treatment.  My nurse gave me a large notebook full of the expected treatment plan customized to my cancer, along with a long discussion about everything I would be receiving in the coming weeks.  I'll be taking plenty of vitamins, supplements, nutritional helps, and then can expect certain chemos, medicines, and procedures staggered out each week in order to help me stay well and strong while also killing my disease.  The first big procedure will be installing a picc line so I don't have to have hundreds of needle pokes for the next 14 weeks.  I'm very nervous to have that installed, but thankful for it as well.  I've been promised that I'll be having a twilight sleep medicine so I won't have to be stressed or in pain while it is installed.  That should take place right before or right after Christmas.  Then the iv treatments begin.