This week was full of treatments and scheduling, and although I'm getting used to everything, it's also getting to be difficult to have patience on the journey.  If things go according to plan, I'm only about 1/3 of the way through.  But I keep reminding myself it could be much worse, and I'm having almost no side effects at all!  I'm definitely getting plenty of time to rest, listen to podcasts, sew, and read!  

So week four started off great, we got to attend a local church and enjoy the singing and preaching here.  It was good to see that God's Word is preached all over the world, and that we can be fed spiritually even in a desert.  :)  We heard about how the Apostle Paul spoke to the Corinthians about he was gladly going to spend and  be spent for them, and that he is a good example for all Christians in our acts of service to others, even if they are ungrateful or critical.

This week started off with a lot of illness, I was feeling very nauseated from the various treatments I had received, plus just adjusting to the line and the pain that caused.  The clinic scheduled me for a week of treatments, so I arrived on Monday for my first bloodwork and immunotherapies of the week.  I spent 3 hours receiving treatments, then went back home to rest. 

So week 2 started out rough, the kids caught the Flu, and out of empathy, so did I.  Thankfully Jason stayed well, and he's kept very busy taking care of us!  We all had separate trips to the walk-in clinics or teledoc, and got on some good medicine to knock it out quick.  Meanwhile, we finalized our Christmas shopping (mostly online) and got things wrapped.  As a funny part of this trip, I bought us a cactus shaped Christmas tree, and it works perfectly!  We set up our Christmas things on a desk in our new town home, and enjoyed a lovely Christmas together.  We exchanged books, crafts, electronics, and some fun treats.  Our week was mostly medical-free in order to celebrate the coming of Jesus!  On Christmas evening, we cooked some T-bone steak to perfection, then went out and looked at some neighborhood light displays before the season ended.  

My husband and I researched as many alternate therapies as we could find, hoping to discover a path that wouldn't leave my body a damaged wreck for the rest of my life.  In our searching, we discovered a few medical clinics that specialized in gentler but very effective treatments.  Because insurance in the United States has a narrow view of acceptable cancer treatments, these places are not very popular or easy to fund.  However, we believed that if I could find healing, it would be at a place like that.  Our final choice became a large practice in Arizona, that uses plenty of normal medical procedures in addition to many natural and healthy focused therapies such as nutrition and building up the immune system.  We read many success stories of people who went there and found real healing of even the most advanced stages of all types of cancer.  This looked like our answer to prayer.  We set up a few phone consultations, and then committed to an in-person meeting in December.  It was time to accept the path of fighting cancer with the medical care needed, although I was very reluctant to start in on needles and bloodwork, surgeries, and many unknown side effects.  Because the in-person meeting was required, we went ahead and made the plan to attend the clinic and receive treatment there.  Their normal window of time required for standard treatments is 14 weeks, so we discussed whether I should go alone, or have the whole family move out there to support me.  Of course I wanted my children and husband close, but that would also increase our costs and difficulties.  We decided that it was worthwhile to stay together, especially if I end up feeling very sick and need plenty of love and help.  We would be Arizona-bound just before Christmas.  What a strange ending to this year!

You can't just jump into cancer treatment right away.  The doctors need to understand how much cancer is in your body, what type it is, how fast it's growing, and so much more.  And so you proceed with many tests.

"The test came back and you have invasive lobular carcinoma."  It was as if the doctor was speaking a different language.  I had to ask for her to dumb it down for me, and she knew what I needed to hear - yes, that is cancer.  She quickly tried to reassure me that it was only stage 1, very easy to cure, etc., but my mind had already gone into panic mode and the tears started flowing.  It doesn't seem to matter the stage or cure rate, when we first hear we have the dreaded disease, our hearts sink and our minds begin to picture all possible outcomes.  That was how my news came down, and my response was immediate grief and fear.  No one wants to hear that they have cancer.  This killer disease not only poisons and destroys you, but it ensures a life full of painful treatments and surgeries, enormous expenses, and multiple lives affected by your illness and possibly death.  I believe the fear of getting cancer is one of the big ones of our society today.  Studies show that about 50% of Americans will get some type of cancer during their lifetimes.  We all hope that at least it waits until we are 80 years old, but that isn't always the case.